I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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