You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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