Plan B is the new Plan A
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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