Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

So how was last night?

(1-310): View more from California

Let's just say I danced with the devil

(310): View more from California

Huh?

(1-310): View more from California

I'm going to Hell for sure

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.

(510): View more from California

YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!

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(217): View more from Illinois

He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!

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(831): View more from California

i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing

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(850): View more from Florida

We smell like vodka and hangover

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