OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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