No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
