Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
