2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize