There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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