Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Randomize
