Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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