Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
