so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
