i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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