I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
