a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I have grass duct taped all over my body
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
