i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
