There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize