You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
