You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
