The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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