I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
