Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
