He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
