What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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