i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
