so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
