we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
