I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
