Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
