Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize