She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
