Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
