We won't sleep together?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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