She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
