I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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