He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
