I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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