Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
it's like heaven, but drunker
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
