Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize