so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
