I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
