the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize