How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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