my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
