Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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