she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
