Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize