a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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