You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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