Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
