There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
ttyl tear gas
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
