when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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