Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
