Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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