i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
