just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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