I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
