I wannas sexs uuuuu
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I have fence marks all over my body
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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