I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
