yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
