I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
