well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my being single is dangerous.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
